On a non-religious note...

Its only 3pm and I cant even fathom the thought of being here another 2 hours. The system I use to do pretty much everything is down for the second day and I am left to wander aimlessly through the internet.

I have noticed one thing today though..there are a lot of stupid guys out there...and some even in high positions. I just got done talking to a friend of mine from a while ago that is a high ranking exec with monster.com. While I was impressed by this, he continually throughout the conversation kept spewing the most retarded things and kept trying to seem "better than me" because of his "great" position. Now I know people are competitive, I am too, but think for a second if I might care before you start babbling about how great you are. I was even criticized for not saying a formal "how are you?" in the beginning of the conversation. Can you believe that? Since when are IM conversations so formal? Gimme a break. Guys can be the most good looking things in the world...but if they are dumb and arrogant and think that they could never be wrong, Id rather be celibate for the rest of my life than have to deal with that.

Bock vs. Brown- More Da Vinci Code Drama

Well, I knew it was coming. A response to Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code". Darrell Bock, PH.D. has written a response to this book and has entitled it "Breaking the Da Vinci Code". Of course they are having a lot of fun in court due to the similarity of the titles, but thats a whole other issue.

Im not sure how many of you have read The Da Vinci code, but I did and I thought it was amazing. Well tons of people have blasted it for this that and the other. Anyways, the main point of controversy is that this book claims that Jesus was in fact married to Mary Magdalene and they had a child. Ok, so first of all, why is everyone getting pissed? Does it really change anything if he was married? Does it change his message or his mission? Not at all. Then of course there is the argument that, since it doesnt say that he was married in the Bible, then it is in no way true. Yet we continue to uncover new truths as time goes on. It was only 57 years ago that the Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered, which have now been named by many as the archaeological discovery with greatest biblical impact. Were there people 60 years ago that would have thought something like the Dead Sea Scrolls don't exist? Of course...everyones so skeptical of anything that isnt written in the Bible--something that his been translated and interpreted differently for thousands of years.

Anyways, Im off track. When I was reading about this new guy "breaking" the Da Vinci code, I was pretty interested in what he would use to combat Dan Brown's book. Well, to my disappointment, when asked why he wrote the book this was his response:

"All I wanted to do is put the record in front of people," said Bock, a New Testament scholar at the Dallas Theological Seminary. "It isn't that I don't think Jesus was married. It is just that most everybody doesn't think that Jesus was married."

What? First of all...I'm not even sure what he is trying to say here. "Well its not that its just me that doesnt think he was married, but not many others do too". This is his reasoning? --Yea I'll be sure to pick that one up-dumb.

Sex, Elevators, and my Wandering Imagination

So on the elevator ride up to my floor a few minutes ago I happened to be in the company of a hot guy who politely struck up a convo with me. As he went on and on I blocked out his voice and started thinking about what he would do if I just jumped him right that second. Then I thought back to movies and how there is always that button to push to stop the elevator so the sexcapade can continue. As I am thinking this I glance over to the buttons and notice that this magic sex button is missing from this elevator. All that is on the panel is an alarm button--no good, draws attention--and a call button. So what the heck? Just as I start getting pissed at the no longer possible scenario, we come to his floor and he exists while smiling and saying..."Just let me know". Huh? I tried soooo hard to think If I could remember one word that he said and I couldn't. Let him know about what?? Sex? A Date? Seaturtles? Who the hell knows. My daydreaming strikes again.

I don't wanna

So I was thinking...as I sat in a meeting the other day: "Wow, I am the only one in this meeting of 15 women, that has her hair up in a ponytail". Everyone else had their hair all fancy shmancy with their curls and their flipped out ends. So I wondered...is there a time when I am suppose to make this transformation? When does it stop being ok for me to just throw my hair up in a clip and be done with it? When is it no longer ok to be the only one who sits in their chair at their desk indian style? Is there a time when I actually HAVE to start wearing a noticeable amount of makeup? When does it stop being ok for an "adult" to eat Chef Boyardee?

On another note...Brian got me into Sixpence None the Richer a while ago and I just found out they broke up after 10 yrs together. What a shame.

She Bangs

Does anyone feel as sorry for this kid as I do? Im still wondering if he thinks that he is actually talented or if he is on to Hollywood's ploy to exploit him. Maybe he knows exactly whats going on and is actually smarter than all of us--and all of this while looking mentally handicapped. What a little trooper though, trying his best for American Idol. I hope I have 10 just like him.

Swirling questions inside my head

Question 1- Why is the Martha Stewart trial all over the front page of cnn.com everyday? Do they really think we care what happens to her?

Question 2- Have you ever noticed that the older people get, "food" becomes the most exciting thing in their life? It was not even 9:30 this morning when the usual banter started..."So Margie, where are you thinking for lunch today?". If its not "where", its , "well what did you bring today? I brought a salad...still on the south beach diet...blah blah blah". I give anyone reading this permission to shoot me if I ever start up in this "routine".

Question 3: Why do some men feel it necessary to wear jeans to the gym? First of all--gross. Second of all- gross. Third- who in their right mind works out in jeans? Im not talking loose fitting, Im talking tight, stonewashed, high-waisted jeans. I cant even excercise I get so distracted by what some people wear. There is a guy that actually works out in sunglasses. Then there is this one guy who is a "social" member, which in my book means he shows up, looks like he is going to work out, but in all acutality just walks around, checking girls out and talking on his cell phone. Sometimes he sits down on a machine, since Im sure hes tired of all the walking, but in my presence..he is still yet to lift a weight.

Question 4: Since when are leasing agents allowed to be bitches? I went to the office in my complex to try and work out a deal for a new apartment and she pretty much flat out told me that there is no concession for being a current resident and nothing they could do to help me out--and all of this in that snotty "its almost six o'clock and could you please get out of my face" tone. Now I wasn't expecting a super deal or anything, but I thought they might do SOMETHING, anything. I was pretty shocked by the whole thing and didnt know what to say. However, I think the key scratch along the side of her new Elantra expresses my sentiments perfectly.

Stop your grinnin' and drop your linen

I always like to ask this question to guys because I think it says a good deal about them in one way or another.

If a girl was going to strip for you, what song would you want her to strip to?

Girls can answer too...for example, I always thought it would be fun to strip to INXS' "I need you tonight"--but thats just me.

All by myself

So this week I might actually be signing a lease with only one name on it..mine. I swore to myself this day would never come yet here it is. Ive never lived alone before and always thought I would be miserable if I had to. The fact is, my roommate is moving to GA to be closer to her boyfriend and since I dont know if I was accepted to school yet--I have to resign at least until August. Here is the alarming part--the more I think about my move--the more excited I get. Then I start to think...maybe I am one of those people that are suppose to grow old surrounded by 800 cats. The thing is..I dont really like cats, so that would suck.

So I was thinking...what would I be able to do in my own place that I wouldnt do now? We'll here's a starting list:

-Actually have plants that live on my porch since they wont die now of cigarette smoke

-Sex it up on the dining room table

-make french toast and not have to share

-spend all day on a saturday working on my college scrapbook and not be "judged"

-finally learn how to play my guitar and not have to shut my door because American Idol is on

wow--I was going to go on, but I am pretty happy with these already.

Not that there's anything wrong with it...

Well other than the fact that I feel nauseaus for no apparent reason and that I am stuck in a cube on a gorgeous Florida day...so far so good this Monday.

Ok- now this came up on Friday and Im not sure what to think, so help me out if you can. There is this guy that works in the same building as I do, but in a different dept. of the company. He is good looking and Ive had to email back and forth a few times for work related stuff. Anyways, a week or so ago he comes up to my floor just to say hi...sits on my counter, just bringing up pointless chatter...and I definitely got the feeling he was flirting. So anyways, that was that. Then on Friday he calls me at my desk to invite me to this birthday party thing that his friends are having for him and his other friend. He emailed me an "Evite" with all the details. So, I start thinking that maybe he might be into me, until I click on the evite where I see these comments left by friends of his and his friend:

Comment 1: Well Ben and Kevin do sleep under the same roof every night, so we probably won't be seeing anything new.

Comment 2: I am going to be there to watch Kevin and Ben make kissy faces

Comment 3: I am there, maybe the two love birds won't pass out this time. :) Balls in your mouth!!!

Comment 4: Only if Kevin and Ben kiss, and finally admit that they are a couple!

Comment 5: (made by the guy -Kevin- himself): Whoa...what kind of party is this gonna be? Deidre!? Is there something you should tell me?

Yea. So long story short I couldnt go because I was going out of town, but now I am utterly confused. Is he gay? Is he not? If he is, why would he go out of his way to flirt with me? Maybe I dont know what flirting is anymore?

Well either way...I was cc'd on an email this morning from him saying thanks to everyone for coming, etc. So I felt I should respond. So I said something like "Im sorry I couldnt be there, Im sure you and your boyfriend had a lot of fun". This way, I figure I will find out either way. If hes gay he will just respond regularly, and is hes straight, he'll probably just laugh it off right? We'll see...

Look Who's Talking Now

Now I love babies just as much as the next person, but how the hell do people manage to talk about them 24/7? Well, not people, women.
I work in an all female department (yea, im that lucky), and everyone in here either just had a baby in the past year, is pregnant, or is trying to get pregnant. Every 20 minutes or so there is a gathering at a cubicle to discuss any or all of the following:

-Blues Clues

-Morning sickness and saltine crackers

-birthing procedure ( you dont even want to know...I almost felt like taking all my birth control pills at once)

-Oh and lets not forget the all too fun "who's going to get pregnant next" game.

The last time this little game was played I was brought into the convo as the next possible girl to be preggers which resulted in this response to them: "Hell no, I'm too young to get pregnant!". This was received with complete silence and looks of death.

Something I said?

Has the world gone mad?

Everytime I see the trailer for that "Drama Queen" movie I have to cringe for obvious reasons. It's dumb. So would I ever see it? Sure, but I would need 2 tickets, one for me and for the person with the gun to my head--ok I stole that quote, but I can do what I want, its my blog. Anyways, the other day I found out that this Lindsay Lohan girl is the same girl that was in the 1998 Parent Trap Movie. The weird part is--I have talked to about 5 people who all say--"yea I knew it was her"--and Im like how the hell did you know--and they are all "well look at her- she looks the same". Ok this is when I start to think Ive gone mental. I mean look at the pics--red hair and freckles to blond hair and no freckles?? I would have never in 100 years thought they were the same person, but yet I seem to be only one who doesnt "recognize her".

Wasting Away

I think my stomach is eating my other organs. Thats how freaking hungry I am. Ive been on this damn conference call for about 2 hours and I havent eaten in about 15. The dilemma lies here: I am at my desk, attached to a headset, periodically having to respond.....my hot pocket is in the kitchen about 30 ft away. Ive been trying to devise a way to run in there, stick it in the microwave, run back, make a comment, run back to the kitchen get it out, run back to the desk and all the while praying that they arent asking me questions. Ive already wasted about 25 minutes just thinking about this plan.

So you guessed it..I got so hungry that I actually "googled" for hot pockets...and just when you think people cant get any more weird...this is what I found - What are you gonna fix?

Surprise, you were napped.

I'm sure that most everyone has heard of the strange case recently of the 17 yr old boy who saw his picture on a Canadian missing childrens site and realized he had been abducted 14 years ago. There are a couple of things I dont get about this. For one...I dont get why its such a huge deal. I mean it would be one thing if the lady wasnt his mother, but she is and also, there was no mention that his mother who abducted him ever changed her name...so did the kids father not ever think to search for her in the US? Furthermore, how do you end up on a Canadian missing childrens site?

This whole thing reminds me of that movie "Milk Money" with good old Ed Harris. Have you seen Melanie Griffith's lips lately? Such a shame, she use to be pretty.

Move it or lose it

I just found another thing that annoys the hell out of me. I just got out of a meeting in which we were all around a conference table with a website up on the projector screen. There was one person in charge of following along onscreen as the moderator spoke over the phone. Good god...I have never seen a mouse move so slow. Not only slow, but when directed to click on the something on the left nav--the mouse wanders all over the pg at almost a negative rate until one of us has to get up and point to the right place on the screen. Another thing is taking the long route--for anything---to save a file, search, whatever. Maybe I am just a nerd but when I have to watch other people do these things it drives me nuts. For the first half hour of the call we had some dipstick in Canada that insisted the site was down even though we are all sitting there with it up. What is wrong with these people? We had to sit and go through all the stupid shit like "refresh your page", "ctrl refresh", "open a new window". Im sorry but if you don't know shit like that you have no business working for a software company...or working at all for that matter.

An email from an employee here was just sent to the entire company saying this:
"Something is going wrong"

A little creepy if you ask me--so I look up his name and see what he looks like. Well he is Indian, shocker, and a little freaky looking. Which brings me to my next thought... I have to get out of the world of IT because I am cutting my chances of getting a boyfriend in half...maybe even by 3/4. With one career choice I automatically eliminate the chance of lunch dates, after work drinks, and steamy interoffice sex scandals. Now in highschool it was a different story--in the honors classes there were some cute guys, and even if there weren't any cute ones there were at least normal ones. Well not the case in college--but its my fault for being an MIS major. Everyone was always meeting people in their classes and hanging out with them but the people in my classes were unbelievably the classic "IT" stereotype--about 50% Indian, 20% Asian, and the rest is a mix of some of the nerdiest white boys I have ever seen- and its not that there is anything wrong with any of those races, its just those are the top 2 that I have zero attraction towards. So anyways, that was college--not one date from those classes of course, but now I find myself in IT again....and its the same damn thing. Do hot IT guys exist or just decent ones at that? I dont think so, at least not in Orlando. I wonder if Asian and Indian women think working in IT is like a goldmine of hotties. Groty.

There's nothing that pumps me up like hearing that day old oatmeal is more fun than my writing.

Well thanks for the inspiration my loyal rebloggers, both of you.

Anyways--back to the thought at hand.

So my roommate and I were at Fairvilla Megastore last week---which by the way now has a bouncer at the front door carding you. Anyways--that place is pretty cool...we had originally gone to get porn for her boyfriend but there were plenty distractions along the way that turned our 20 min shopping into a 3 hour event. I ended up with about $60 worth of crap that I cant even use now until I get a boyfriend. Smart, I know.

Well it was a pretty crazy weekend full of interesting encounters and surprises. Since I've had to tell the valentines day story about 500 times since I got back there is no way I am going to type it now, so just trust me, it was an interesting night.

Things I learned in Chicago:

Frozen dog shit can still stick to your boots.

It IS possible to return from Chicago without skinned knees.

Pretty much every hot guy is or will soon be gay.

Philly cheesesteaks are best when they are a day old and eaten at 6 am.

If you cant chug an Irish Carbomb like you are suppose to, you'll have to drink it when it is of cottage cheese consistency.


Good times

Just when I think I can't hate Paris Hilton any more, she has to go and open her dumb mouth again:

"If they offer to pay for dinner, that's a good sign," Paris advises. "But if they talk about how 'you're so rich,' if they do stuff like that, I can tell they like money more than they like me.

Yea no shit Paris, how long did it take for that epiphany?

Other super intelligent comments made:

"Never drink Diet Coke. Diet Coke is for fat people"

"I hate rude stewardesses. It's like, 'Hello, I'm paying, be nice to me."

Oh no, there's more..apparently Paris just doesnt understand what happened in this situation when she tried to bring a few last minute impulse buys on a plane home...

"I went to this pet store and bought a baby goat, a ferret, and this one animal that was like a half monkey, half raccoon...they were like, 'This isn't a traveling circus. You're not bringing a goat on the plane.' So I ended up having to drive back to L.A. in a limo all by myself for six hours with the animals."

No words.

And since when is a goat considered an impulse buy?

Alrighty, well this is what the blog is going to look like, at least for the next couple of days.

In a few hours I will be leaving warm Orlando and arriving in 15 degree Chicago for what should be a very interesting couple of days. My friend Ann lives there and we are going out on Valentines day with two guys whom we have never met in person. Thats right--my good old pal the internet set this one up. At first I was hesitant because I didnt want to be one of "those people", but I think its one of those things you have to take case by case. Either way, I'm sure the weekend will bring some interesting tales.

yay--my own blog..OK for anyone who is on this page, its either by mistake or because you were one of the 2 people Ive even mentioned this about to...I really do have friends..I swear